Losing Sleep
by odalys-ortiz
Summary: Carter has been busy as of late trying to keep her mind off recent events. Even then, she never would have imagined what happened one night while she was sleeping. Takes place some time after Dead Reckoning but before In Extremis. Carter/Reese pairing of course.


Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, even though I wish it was. I want to thank SWWoman for looking this over for me. I hope I didn't damage you psyche too much.

* * *

Losing Sleep

The last remnants of the dream began to fade into the night. After a few moments of calming her shaky breathing, Joss's eyes fluttered open into the dark abyss that was her brownstone apartment's bedroom. She sat up and placed her back against the wooden headboard as she began to rub the sleep out of her eyes.

She could feel the small bead of sweat forming on her forehead, but it wasn't due to an outside source. Getting her bearings and relaxing in the familiarity of her surroundings, she began to think back over what had woken her up for what seemed like an unknown number of times at this point. She was normally a very heavy sleeper, being able to rest throughout the duration of the night. That was clearly not the case again tonight.

She had been concerned at first when she had woken up in the middle of the night despite being exhausted to the point of death from her newest case at the time. Now she had welcomed the intrusion because of what it had become and how much it meant to her. He would always be there, waiting for her and she allowed herself to be lost to his phantom touches. It just reminded her just how much she really missed him.

* * *

The first time this all started was a few weeks ago after she had spent the better part of the day working on a homicide case as usual. She had been asked by Finch to help out with the numbers once again, but she grew more disappointed and frustrated with each passing day with each call that wasn't from him.

Joss wished that she could understand the reasons why John had suddenly stopped speaking to her. She knew that he was trying to avoid talking with her about what happened between them in the hallway that night. Probably voice his true feelings before he went up to the roof to meet his end. She felt that he was pulling away to avoid any sort of confrontation and she grew a bit more sad each time Finch would be on the end of a line.

She had grown to accept the state of their relationship right now, hoping that he would come to grips with whatever was wrong and finally talk to her when he was ready.

When she finally finished her case and their number, she managed to get off the clock around eleven. When she made it home, she had gone through her usual routine to get ready for bed. She had to keep herself from falling asleep on her feet thanks to her body's demand for sleep.

After cleaning herself up and getting changed, she checked up on Taylor who was sound asleep in his room after going to a movie. She approached the bed and pressed a small kiss on the top of his head before tucking him deeper into the comforter. She knew that he was embarrassed when she treated him like a child, but she just couldn't help it. He was her pride and joy.

After closing the door softly behind her, she couldn't stop the sigh from escaping her tired lips. She just dropped on to her mattress, not caring about the blanket below her. The recent warm weather allowed her to be comfortable in her red tank top and black drawstring pajama pants.

She lay on her back with one arm pillowing her neck while the other lay on her taut stomach. The last bit of fight that she had was gone and her eyes drifted closed. Her body became more relaxed in a matter of minutes. She felt herself calming down until she suddenly felt like she was falling forever.

Her body began to slip into another realm. Joss couldn't recognize the feeling at all. She was too tired to care as her body felt the winds of change all around her. She struggled to open her eyes, to see if she had been taken from her home by someone against her will.

_What's going on_ she heard her mind ask.

The sensation of falling continued for what seemed like an eternity. She then suddenly felt like someone grabbed her hand and pulled her to a complete stop. The magic that held her eyes closed relinquished their hold. Allowing them to open, she saw a peculiar sight.

The area looked oddly familiar, but the colors were off a bit. The place looked a bit brighter then she was accustomed to. Looking down at herself, she was confused at the sight before her as she stood in the work clothes that she had changed out of minutes ago. As she reached down, she felt the familiar bulge of her holster in the same position she would always strap on before heading into work.

Her clothes were one of many sets that she would wear only for work. This one consisted of her cream colored, buttoned down shirt and her tight, black jeans. She was also wearing her ankle high black boots. She was missing a few small things as well. She wasn't wearing her badge or her light brown jacket. She reached up and felt her loose hair cascading around her head, something she normally didn't do when she was on duty.

Her environment started to fix itself, the colors taking on a grey, depressing tone. Once everything seemed to settle down, she finally figured out why it felt so familiar. Joss stepped over to the bars of the holding cell. Her hands could feel the cold from the metal as she began to pull it to the side and open it.

Stepping through the door, she looked to her left and right to try and find another living soul. "Hello?" Her voice echoed off of the claustrophobic walls. "Anyone else here?"

When she was on the other side, she jumped at the loud bang behind her. She turned to see the door closed and somehow lock itself. "Um…okay" she said with quite a bewildered look.

Even though she didn't know what the hell was going on, she didn't feel like she was in enough danger just yet to reach for her gun. Her shoes were louder then she could remember as she made her way to the only stairs that led out.

Inside the narrow passageway, she felt the rough textures under her fingers. It really felt like she was here. How the hell was that possible? The only explanation for all of this to make sense was that it wasn't completely real.

Even though she was aware of what she was touching and where she was, that was the only logical reason for her being in her bed one minute and halfway across town in another. "But why now?" she asked herself. She hadn't had any dreams in years, especially not one this vivid or realistic.

Reaching the top of the stairs, she looked around at the desks and offices that made up the precinct. She didn't see another person anywhere. Joss stayed close to the wall as she continued to scan the empty room.

Her heart managed to keep steady as she made her way over to her desk, hoping that maybe she could get some answers there to get her out of this world. Slithering in-between the other desks, she reached hers, becoming a bit apprehensive.

There was something out of place with this whole situation. She took her seat and began searching through the drawers. While she was checking the top left drawer, she made out the sound of the floor giving way to someone else's weight. She closed it quickly and stood up while reaching for her gun.

"Who's there? Show yourself" she demanded.

When she took a closer look around, she saw the fleeting image of something black disappearing around the corner. "Hey wait" she shouted as she clumsily made her way back out. When she finally reached it, whatever it was was gone. "Damn it." Whoever it was may have been become nothing more than just her mind continuing to play tricks with her.

As she walked further into the area, a strange scent permeated her senses. She recognized the masculine, woodsey nature of the scent right away and her head began to pound slightly in response. "Fuck" she uttered as she tried to hold herself up against the wall. "What the hell is going on? I just wanted some sleep" she said to no one in particular.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have such vivid dreams Detective." The sound originated from a deep, baritone voice. Getting herself back together, she looked towards the next corner and saw an unidentifiable reflection in the office window. She continued to hold herself up while trying to focus her vision. Only one person would call her by her title and make it sound so endearing.

"John?" She felt her heart skip a few beats with just the thought alone that he was here. "Am I just losing my mind?" Another slip of the mind threw the world into a blur.

"I would say that you are close to waking yourself up" he answered. She watched as he edged his way around the corner until she saw him. Seeing him standing there in his signature outfit, the pain subsided as quickly as it had arrived. Joss was able to push off of the wall, trying to figure out some questions to ask in the meantime.

She decided to turn around and walk off her anxiety while her hands were crossed over her chest. He shadowed her as he followed her at about arm's length behind her. "So what the hell is all this?" Her path led her back to another desk where she just looked at nothing specific, wanting some sort of small distraction for her eyes as not to look at him. Even in a dream, she knew that looking into those eyes would destroy her.

"You have already figured it out yourself" he stated simply as he continued to watch her head looking towards different areas around her.

"I haven't dreamed of anything in almost seven years and to have something feel this real and not be…" she then turned around sharply, her loose hair circling to the front to lie over her right shoulder. "Is just unnerving." She inspected the surroundings behind him, unable to look at his face just yet. "Then again, maybe I have overworked myself this time."

She involuntarily tapped her foot to the ground as she began her current chain of thought, while finally focusing on the man in front of her. "That still doesn't explain why you're here though."

"Doesn't it" he asked as he shook the coat off of his shoulders and placed it on the back of a nearby chair.

This action was not lost on her. "What are you doing?" She began to reach for her holster to defend herself, only to feel her hand grasp nothing but air. Looking down, she found that her gun had indeed disappeared.

"Carter, you should really learn to play nice." He took a few steps towards her.

In response, she shook her head then turned to walk away, speaking over her shoulder. "So this isn't even going to play by my rules then?"

Before she knew what was going on, she felt the sensation of another body close to her. Joss looked down to see herself encased in his arms, one encircled her waist while the other lightly wrapped around her neck. As she looked over at their reflection, she watched and felt as he began to nuzzle her neck with just his lips.

Feeling a small shiver that travel through her body, Joss quickly fought against him. Pulling free, she stood across from him and tried to keep her distance. "What the hell are you doing?"

He just shrugged his innocence. "I'm not in control of my actions here. You may think that we aren't playing by your rules, but that's a lie.

She walked around a desk, hoping to have a barrier between them. "So you are saying that I wanted you here, wanted what you just did to me? That's ridiculous."

"So me being here has nothing to do with the fact that we haven't seen each other in almost two months?" he asked bluntly.

She was taken aback with how direct he was being. Her stance lightened up and her hands fell to her waist as she spoke again. "It's your fault if it is. I don't even know what I did wrong?"

"What makes you think you did" he asked as he approached closer. She saw this and turned to walk away.

"I don't know but it sure as hell wasn't anything you did." she admitted. Her strides were not long, but she decided to head through the long corridor for a change of scenery. Before long, a single thought forced her to stop and look it over carefully. John approached her once again, remaining only a small distance from her.

"What are you thinking Joss?" he asked gently. Hearing her name on his lips was music to her ears, and she could feel the sound waves all throughout her body.

"I'm just trying to think about what happened to us that night" she turned her head back towards him "in the hallway. I don't think I can ever forget what happened. Maybe you thought that it was better that we stayed away from each other?

She then felt his long fingers brush over her hips to meet in front on her stomach. "I just wasn't ready to see you yet."

The small chuckle he heard left him more than a bit relieved. "Yeah, near death experiences will do that to you" she remarked softly.

"Joss" his uttered, his breath tickling her ear again. "It wasn't the vest that scared me the most that night. It was the thought that I would never see your beautiful face again."

"That's not true John." She could feel him tightening his grip.

"Let me prove it" he said simply. He began to nuzzle the exposed flesh where her neck met with her shoulder. John heard the shaky breath escape her lips as he traced the skin with the tip of his tongue. "If you want, you can stop all of this by waking up. Nothing is stopping you." The silence he heard on her end gave him the encouraged him to continue his ministrations.

He felt a tug from her on his shirt as he pressed his tongue harder against her. Joss' eyes fluttered closed, unsure of what was going on, but she didn't care. She never knew that he could feel so good by the simple use of his tongue. She must have been lonelier than she thought to even think up all this.

His hands busy themselves, working on the zipper for her pants first. This broke the trance she was in. "Wait" she swatted his hands away but never stepped away from him. He just waited for her to go on. "I've gotten over ex-boyfriends in the past faster than this with no hang ups. Why is it when it comes to you, not only do you seem to be in my mind all the time but I end up having an erotic fantasy about you too? Care to explain that since that has never happened to me before" she challenged.

"That's something that you have to answer yourself. I don't know your body as well as I would like to." He pulled her closer to him. She jumped at the strong electric current that she felt all the way to her core. Joss could feel the moisture building in between her legs at this simple action, feeling the effects of his touch even through her clothes. "Do you have any more objections?"

"Just…" she felt him beginning to attack her jeans again. "Let me think of something."

Joss felt the tiny bit of pressure on her waist loosen and she felt her shirt being released from its constraints. She felt an enormous amount of heat pool inside the folds, her panties being the only barrier as he snuck his hand inside the opening of her jeans. "Are you done stalling Detective?" He growled into her ear. His hand travel a bit further down, and he was able to feel the heat emanating from her even through her underwear. "You are so hot Joss, maybe you need to relax some more."

His other hand began to work on the buttons to her now loosened shirt. Only using his thumb and index finger, he gradually made short work of each button. Exposing more skin with each loosened button, he could hear the small, unidentifiable noises from her lips.

"John…" she whispered, feeling her shirt getting more loose. "Not here." Her mind must have short circuited. She had this image of them doing something like this while there were people working there. She had grown worried even though she knew that there was no one there to see them together.

"Then how about in here." Before she could register what was happening, she heard him opening a nearby door. With the question on the tip of her tongue, he forcibly dragged her inside. There was no pause in his movement as his strength lifted her off the ground. She then felt herself being placed on something very cold. The sudden cold caused a scream to escape her lips as her body jumped.

John crawled on top to keep her body in place. Once she finally calmed down, she realized where she was. It had been a while since she had been in an interrogation room, but this wasn't what she had in mind. Her shirt was splayed open as John settled between her legs, brushing close to her to tease her.

He lowered his mouth to her ear, licking around the lobe and eliciting an intake of air from her. "Maybe we can make a film for you to watch when you start to miss me." Before she could make another smart remark, he pressed his lips roughly against her. Moving with such a force, it wasn't before long before their tongues began to duel with each other. She reached into his lightly graying hair to try and get him to push harder. It just didn't feel like enough to her.

The table groaned at their combined weight as he separated from her to attend to other matters. He kissed his way down, making slight touches with his tongue on her inch of skin he passed. Before long, he reached the black piece of fabric that held what he desired to touch. John wasted no time as he unclasped the bra, letting it fall to the side. He was taken aback by the sight of the sight of her. His fingers moved to the mounds, leaving a trail of goosebumps on her smooth, caramel skin.

Reaching his goal, he wrapped his large hands around her breasts, eliciting a muffled moan from her. He tended to her like she was something that he wanted to just worship. His hands squeezed each of her breasts, moulding them into his hands. He then leaned down to pass the tip of his tongue over her now hardened right nipple while playing with the other in between his thumb and index finger.

Joss's body couldn't keep still as he held her down against the table. As he continued to play with her, she inched herself closer to his erection, hoping to feel the friction that she desired so much. The noises that she made were amplified because of the size of the room as she felt his wet, rough tongue continue to play with her. She grew more frustrated as she tried to voice what she wanted.

"You know Joss, you can just tell me" he said, almost as if he was reading his mind.

"We-ll, if you ca-an tell what ahh I'm thinking then you k-k-know what I want" she breathed heavily, barely able to get the sentence out.

"You're right" he said simply, quickly pulling his lips back up to nibble at her lips against. Another gasp escaped her lips, but not from this. When he pressed his body against hers, she didn't feel the fabric of his dress shirt anymore. All she could feel was his hot flesh pressing against her and her hands began to trail lightly over his taut muscles, reaching around to his back to hold him close.

He reached down behind her, tugging her behind higher up and allowing her legs to wrap around his waist. He urged her body to move against his, creating a friction between them using their clothes. Her thoughts were only filled with removing that last barrier between them as they battled for control of this kiss.

It was in the middle of this that she felt the pounding in her head return. "Not now please…" she said as she broke off the kiss. As she looked at his face, she smiled at how gently he looked at her before brushing the back of his hand against her cheek. "I just don't know when it will be the next time I'll see you" she whispered.

"It's okay Joss" he said,

"John…" he hushed her with a finger on her lips. He then moved his attention to her body again, lovingly caressing every inch of her as he moved further down. Joss did everything in her power to control herself, trying to keep this as real as much as possible. She could feel her clothes literally melt away. First her shirt vanished, leaving her upper body against the cold, metal table. He then pushed her bra off her shoulders and let it slid away from her.

"Do you know you how beautiful you sound when you say my name Joss?" He began to play with her breasts again, pushing her into the freezing table and hearing the continuous gasps escape her lips as she tried to adjust. His upper body continued to hover over her, allowing his hands the freedom to play with her again while her hands were less mobile, lying on either side of her.

"You don't say mine nearly as often." She paused as she enjoyed him playing with her nipples again, triggering the tingling feeling throughout her body. Abruptly, she leaned up on her elbows, causing him to stop and back away slightly. "You've only ever said it once before all this, on that night…"

"That's because…" he was only to keep his hands still for about a second before he decided to change directions and went further down. "I only want your ears to hear me and no one else.

She rolled her eyes before remarking, "You're crazy."

She managed to pull a chuckle from him. "So says the homicide detective having an erotic dream about a vigilante." This caused her to blush five different shades of red. "Don't be embarrassed, it's doesn't suit you.

"It's your fault. You are the only guy that makes me act like this."

"I guess I should be honored. So I wouldn't be wrong to say that I have an effect in more ways than one." She watched him sneaking his hand closer to the opening in her jeans.

She used one free hand to stop him, causing him to look up in confusion. "I can't wait anymore. Please…" She couldn't stand it anymore. All the teasing, looks, and noises, she honestly wanted him now more than she had ever wanted another man. Even her husband never brought out feelings like this before.

He moved again, pulling her hand with him. "You know that it wouldn't be as fun if we just get to it." He gave her that sexy smirk that caused a jump in her heartbeat.

"It's just that I don't know when this is going to all be over. I don't want you to go" she said timidly. In this world, she was able to let go of that tough exterior without being judged by anyone. No one would remember except her, but she would have one hell of a good night's sleep.

His hand passes under the thin barrier of fabric and continued further down. John knew that she was right, about everything. This was just something that happened and there was no way of telling when it would end. For some reason, he couldn't find it in himself to move on. He just had to play with her one more time.

He tip toed his fingers straight to what he wanted. He could almost burn himself on the heat that was emanating from her. His finger was enveloped into her folds, devouring him almost immediately. She yelped sharply before throwing herself back on the table, causing a loud bang.

He threw his free hand around her waist to keep her calm. "Easy Joss, don't hurt yourself" he growled as he continue to massage her.

"You are just so cruel, you bastard" she moaned as she threw her hands into her hair to get some semblance of control over herself. Just get these damn pants off me already!" she yelled from deep down her solar plexus.

"What pants?" he asked as she could feel something different again in the room. His callous hands were no longer touching her core, she was sure that something was there touching her so lightly that she would have thought it was her imagination if she hadn't looked down.

To her amazement, he was sitting in between her legs with absolutely nothing between them as he held her legs around his hips. He continued to rub the tip of his erection against her, listening to her frustrated moans. "I thought that I was in control of all this?"

"You are." He penetrated her slightly to emphasize the point as he loomed over her. As he watched her eyes, he saw the cloud of desire that was reflected in his. "I just thought that I would oblige your silent wishes.

"John please…" her was her request came through ragged breaths.

Before he could fulfill his own need and plunge into her body, he began to hear a weird buzzing noise. At first it was quite faint. Before long, it increased in volume and John was losing his focus. Reaching out to touch her, his hand found nothing but air. His heart saddened as he began to feel his world changed.

He was searching through closed eyelids as he heard the annoying. He didn't want it to disappear, whatever it was that was happening to him. After a minute of unsuccessful attempts, he opened his eyes to see that he was not inside the precinct with his beautiful Detective Carter. He looked to the bedside table to see the source of buzzing that had ruined everything. Picking up, he answered with a tired voice.

"Hello Harold."

"Mr. Reese, are you alright? I have been trying to contact you for quite some time now."

"Well that last number wore me out and I guess I dozed off. We have another number?"

"I just received it a few minutes ago."

"I will be there in the morning."

"That will be fine, good night Mr. Reese" then the dial tone was heard.

He hung up and put the phone back on the stand. He was trying to remember what he was doing before his very eventful little dream. The number today had him running around half of New York. A former loan shark who screwed the wrong people made for quite the hassle. Protecting him from guns, cars, and knives, he managed to get the group of men and hand them over to Fusco.

He had come back home and lazily dropped off his jacket on the back of a chair. He had taken a seat on the couch and before long, exhaustion taken over and he had closed his eyes. He knew he had been dreaming when he found himself in the police station. It was someplace that he could never go due to his occupation. Finding her there with him seemed all too good to be truth.

He began to miss her after only a week after the incident in the hallway. In this environment, he could talk to her, flirt with her like things hadn't changed between them. Even if it wasn't really her, he enjoyed it all the same. In the end, something was different about these circumstances and she allowed him to get closer. He remembered them together on the table as they started to make love before he was rudely interrupted by his phone, swearing to shut the damn thing off the next time he went to sleep.

Figuring that he might as well get more comfortable, he decided to take a cold shower to calm himself down.

* * *

For almost two months, it was always the same. John was kept busy everyday by the numbers to protect. His evenings provided a sense of escape from all of that. He never expected to see Joss again, let alone become so close almost every single night to becoming one with her.

It was tough for John to not talk to her in the real world. He would at times catch himself looking at her name still in his contact lists. He wanted to approach the elephant in the room. Hell, he just wanted to be in the same room as her. He was normally haunted by nightmares of his past transgressions, but she managed to save him from that as well.

After one particular dream when he came close to taking her on her desk, he was done with the games. He resolved to talk to her in person because he had to admit to himself that he had missed her. No other woman had brought this out in him since Jessica, but Joss Carter had somehow managed to make him the man he is today. He was a better person with her and Harold's help, but she helped in a different way.

The dreams told him everything and he would tell her his reasons for avoiding her.

Soon…

* * *

A/N: Once again, I want to thank SWWoman for looking this over for me. I wish that I could say more because you took the time to edit this thing. I hope that you guys enjoyed it.


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